Keeping Up With The…….Kids

As a mum of two young girls aged 6 and 5, I am already starting to worry about them growing up too quickly in todays scary world. I don’t know if it’s because he’s too young, or if it’s because he’s a boy, I haven’t yet started to think about Frankie growing up too quickly.

On a recent trip into town to buy them an new outfit, I noticed how, now, they are drawn to the clothes which feature a diamante logo or a top which (shock, horror) shows their belly button! Where, before anything with Peppa Pig on the front or a Disney Princess, was their idea of ‘heaven’.  Now, of course I don’t let them choose their own clothing (if I did, they’d be shuffling around like Pearly Queens!), but it struck how it’s becoming more and more difficult to talk them into liking what I want them to like!

I see them staring enviously at these children, the same age as mine, who are allowed to trot around town in high heeled knee boots or dressing up shoes (I live in Swansea by the way, and this is a regular sighting) while they are in their sensible Clarks or Converse, and they look up at me with hopeful, expectant eyes.  So we come home, I google image ‘bunions’,and I ask them if they want feet like that. The answer is always no. Ha!

But, at what age do I have to take their preferences into account? When they go into junior classes, start secondary school? Or  can I wait until they’re old enough to buy their own clothes? Giving me at least another 10/11 years of control…..Yep, that sounds fair to me!

Another obstacle I find in the way of keeping my children, children is music.  Be it the radio,  mtv (which is now banned for the children – their Dad’s orders!) or a CD marketed for kids, yet featuring Rihanna! I don’t know what you think, but I for one was horrified hearing the lyrics of Rihanna’s song S&M.  Granted, children don’t know what S&M could possibly mean, but them singing along to the lyrics “sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it” is just plain wrong!!!!  I can’t believe nothing is being done about songs like this.   I remember a bit of a furor from mum’s when Britney‘s ‘hit me baby, one more time‘ came out all those years ago. I know which one I’d prefer my children singing along to.

It’s not even as if the sexual innuendo’s are hidden or portrayed in a way that children wouldn’t really understand.  Call me a prude,  but this is blatant, unashamed and downright unacceptable. Humph. And it’s not just Rihanna, there are loads!  I just think this song was one of the worst, I know the video was mostly banned before 9pm, but the lyrics are just as bad.

How can parents control it though? We can’t.  Just a couple of weeks ago Olivia was singing this song:

‘ I am no angel, I like it when you talk dirty to me’!!!!!!!

( What the hell?????)

‘Where did you hear that?’ I screeched at her, choking on my toast.

‘On the school bus.’ She innocently replied.  She is 5 years old.

And that’s not all.  One evening Eva, who’s 6, was telling us about her dance class in school, she wanted to show us what she’d learnt, so we all took our places on the sofa, while she arranged the rug to be her ‘stage’ and she started belting out and dancing to:

I like big butts and I cannot lie….’

(This is the God‘s honest truth, I couldn’t even make this up.)

What’s more, is they go to a CATHOLIC school!!!  We were gobsmacked to say the least….I admit, we did laugh our heads off after they’d gone to bed though. :-/

So, what are your opinions on keeping your children, children as long as you can? In this world where everything is controlled by media and apparently the media see’s nothing wrong with the sexualisation of our young ones.  Do we just go ahead and ban tv/radio at home?  But what about when they’re not at home?  Or do we rely on the Governments Bailey Report to help sort things out for us parents before our children reach the REALLY impressionable age of the newly branded ‘tweenager’?

Please let me know your thoughts/opinions, I would love your advice/thoughts on this matter.

xxx

Everyone out of the pool!!!

Ok, so a week ago I faced my fear and decided to set a date and  take my little ones SWIMMING!  Now, that does mean being seen (baring my arms and, wait for it – THIGHS) in a bathing suit by…..other people!  Strangers! Members of the public! Gulp! This is no easy decision for me, and it took a full 7 days of mental preparation, a couple of sit-ups and liberal applications of gradual tanning lotion before the day of dread.  This is not to say that my children have never been swimming, surely that would be a crime.  It is just that it’s been either on holidays, where I’m a little less uptight, or the Grandparents have fulfilled the going- swimming- duties.  As I say, it was time for me to ‘face the fear’.

So, I enrolled my Mum to help for safety reasons, took my dutch courage (well, not completely dutch, it was 9.30 in the morning) let’s just say I had a strong coffee with….. a splash, a tiny splash of Baileys. ;-/  Off we set for the Leisure Centre.

Now, once there and in my tuumy control cossie. I admit I was feeling ok.  Everyone is either too focused on making sure their kids aren’t drowning or they simply do not care how big your arms/bum/legs look.  It’s true: YOU are the only one who’s bothered.  So, inhibitions lowered, there we are, all having a great time. I only had to explain ONCE to the girls that they are not mermaids and cannot breathe under water, so STOP TRYING!  :-0  Frankie was having a whale (see what I did there: whale/water….anyway) of a time going head first down the kids water chute.

Then, the wave machine came on – yaaaaaay, my favourite!  Everyone is happily bobbing over the waves…….then something else was spotted conspicuously bobbing over them…. Can you tell what is yet (aussie accent for that sentence, if you please)

IT WAS POO!!!!!

So, in the midst of my enjoyment, everyone was cleared from pool and left to stand on the side while lifeguards figured out what to do.  Uh-oh, out of the pool and on full show my self consciousness was back, so I gathered the three kiddies around me, thus hiding my legs. Result!  Eventually, we were told to go home.  But, we were given two complementary  family passes to go again for free!  That means, for my sins, and after nearly 6 years of avoiding the pool, I have to go twice in the next two weeks before the passes expire!!

Now, where’s that self tan and bottle of Baileys gone??????

Facebook: friend or foe? What’s your opinion?

Okay, I know everyone seems to love, love, love  Facebook at the moment and do forgive me, I’ve only  succumed to the Twitter craze today (I wanted some goss on Kim Kardashians’ wedding).  But does anyone else agree that it’s lost some of it’s allure.  For me, a couple of years ago it was all about finding long lost friends (I say long lost, I’d only been out of school for  about 5 years) and old boyfriends and school enemies (to see how much weight they’d put on, or annoyingly lost) and finding out what people were up to in the big,bad world since school or sixth form.

Now, however, social networking seems to be the platform for people boasting about who has the better life!  I cannot stand it!!!  If someone is not telling you about how many pounds they’ve lost at Weight Watchers this week,  they’re banging on about their amazing single girl holidays/night’s out. If they’re in a relationship, they’re announcing what wonderful boyfriends (or as I push through my 20′s it’s husbands) they have sending them flowers/chocolates in work or glasses of Mint Baileys in the bath (for some reason that one really annoyed me)Or what 3 course meals they are cooking that night-even after a long day at work! I mean really?  REALLY?

Call me sceptical, but I bet these single girls go out so often because they are looking for boyfriends. The coupled up ones have rubbish, erm I mean ‘normal’ boyfriends who do none of the above, except on a guilty conscience maybe and they’re actually popping their meals in the microwave every night!

As a mum though, for me the real clincher is: if they have kids.  These ‘boasters’  feel it is appropriate to tell mere mortals like me that they are back in their size 8′s weeks after giving birth (my youngest is nearly 2 and I’m still not in pre-pregnancy size) or they are announcing step by step the wonderful things they have done in the day with their children.  They always seem to be making daisy chains/cupcakes/wonderful works of art/bug hunting in the forrest.  All the things I would love to do, but hardly ever get around to it, all whilst updating their Facebook statuses!!!  Super mums???? The jury’s out.

But, again, call me sceptical, I bet most of these are actually sat on the sofa in their pj’s watching Jeremy Kyle while presenting their ‘perfect’ world to their cyber friends who are none the wiser……

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against people who do have a great a life and want to tell people about their goings on. Maybe some of it plays on the fact I worry I don’t appreciate my man enough or do enough with my kids.  It just seems when EVERY aspect of their life is AMAZING 100% of the time, then who are they convincing? It just makes day to day life competitive, when it’s tough enough without competing (maybe subconsciously) with our ‘friends’.

x

what’s your opinion????

Parenting by Dorothy Louise Law Nolte.

I remember this being up on the wall in my school common room.  Whenever a boring assembly was going on, (which was pretty often) I would read and re-read this poem…..

If a child lives with cricism, he learns to condemn…
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight…
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive…
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself…
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy…
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt…
But…
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient…
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident…
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative…
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love…
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is…
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice…
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him…
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.
With what is your child living?