As a mum of two young girls aged 6 and 5, I am already starting to worry about them growing up too quickly in todays scary world. I don’t know if it’s because he’s too young, or if it’s because he’s a boy, I haven’t yet started to think about Frankie growing up too quickly.
On a recent trip into town to buy them an new outfit, I noticed how, now, they are drawn to the clothes which feature a diamante logo or a top which (shock, horror) shows their belly button! Where, before anything with Peppa Pig on the front or a Disney Princess, was their idea of ‘heaven’. Now, of course I don’t let them choose their own clothing (if I did, they’d be shuffling around like Pearly Queens!), but it struck how it’s becoming more and more difficult to talk them into liking what I want them to like!
I see them staring enviously at these children, the same age as mine, who are allowed to trot around town in high heeled knee boots or dressing up shoes (I live in Swansea by the way, and this is a regular sighting) while they are in their sensible Clarks or Converse, and they look up at me with hopeful, expectant eyes. So we come home, I google image ‘bunions’,and I ask them if they want feet like that. The answer is always no. Ha!
But, at what age do I have to take their preferences into account? When they go into junior classes, start secondary school? Or can I wait until they’re old enough to buy their own clothes? Giving me at least another 10/11 years of control…..Yep, that sounds fair to me!
Another obstacle I find in the way of keeping my children, children is music. Be it the radio, mtv (which is now banned for the children – their Dad’s orders!) or a CD marketed for kids, yet featuring Rihanna! I don’t know what you think, but I for one was horrified hearing the lyrics of Rihanna’s song S&M. Granted, children don’t know what S&M could possibly mean, but them singing along to the lyrics “sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it” is just plain wrong!!!! I can’t believe nothing is being done about songs like this. I remember a bit of a furor from mum’s when Britney‘s ‘hit me baby, one more time‘ came out all those years ago. I know which one I’d prefer my children singing along to.
It’s not even as if the sexual innuendo’s are hidden or portrayed in a way that children wouldn’t really understand. Call me a prude, but this is blatant, unashamed and downright unacceptable. Humph. And it’s not just Rihanna, there are loads! I just think this song was one of the worst, I know the video was mostly banned before 9pm, but the lyrics are just as bad.
How can parents control it though? We can’t. Just a couple of weeks ago Olivia was singing this song:
‘ I am no angel, I like it when you talk dirty to me’!!!!!!!
( What the hell?????)
‘Where did you hear that?’ I screeched at her, choking on my toast.
‘On the school bus.’ She innocently replied. She is 5 years old.
And that’s not all. One evening Eva, who’s 6, was telling us about her dance class in school, she wanted to show us what she’d learnt, so we all took our places on the sofa, while she arranged the rug to be her ‘stage’ and she started belting out and dancing to:
‘ I like big butts and I cannot lie….’
(This is the God‘s honest truth, I couldn’t even make this up.)
What’s more, is they go to a CATHOLIC school!!! We were gobsmacked to say the least….I admit, we did laugh our heads off after they’d gone to bed though. :-/
So, what are your opinions on keeping your children, children as long as you can? In this world where everything is controlled by media and apparently the media see’s nothing wrong with the sexualisation of our young ones. Do we just go ahead and ban tv/radio at home? But what about when they’re not at home? Or do we rely on the Governments Bailey Report to help sort things out for us parents before our children reach the REALLY impressionable age of the newly branded ‘tweenager’?
Please let me know your thoughts/opinions, I would love your advice/thoughts on this matter.
xxx
Its disgusting!!! Although I haven’t got kids myself I cannot imagine how hard it must be to satop them from growing up too quick. i mean all the kids ‘make up parties’ (Jordan outting flase eyelashes on her two year old!) and the fact that mothercare sells thongs and padded bras (the oldest they go up to is age 7). The only answer is…..send em to deep south america with no TV!!!!
I agree. I’m just the same. Amy is 11 now and very much into all these rather raunchy music videos and teenage clothes. I try to keep her an 11 year old but they grow up mentally, so much quicker these days. We can do all we are able but occasionally we just have to go with it. They’ll still be your little ones inside. Like Glayne says, the only answer is no television, music videos, technology etc, but that isn’t real life today and we’d be depriving them.
CJ xx
Yep, you’re right. Obviously I can’t deprive them of technology – it’s part of growing up. I just hope I can bring them up well enough to not be influenced by artists such as Rihanna – if she is still around in 5 years time. I think I must be alone in thinking her song lyrics are quite shocking! So I’ll be cancelling the Sky subscription in a couple of years. Sorted.xxx
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I believe there is a huge difference between children growing up “too quickly” and children being sexualised at a young age. I absolutely believe allowing young children to watch material with a highly sexual content is wrong (or any sexual content really, depending on age) but ast the same time, if a child were to come across a sexually charged music video by accident it wouldn’t mean that child is growing up too quickly.
The term is too general.
I absolutely do not aim to keep my children children. My purpose as a parent is to lovingly and reasonably guide my children into a decent adulthood, making sure they have all the mental tools they need, which is completely different to what you’re referring to.
I also feel it is the duty of the parents (not the Gov’t or media) to ensure a child-friendly environment. Banning channels such as MTV is a good move – my daughter is 5 and still watches CBeebies or CBBC if she’s watching TV otherwise it’s listening to music or watching a film. It doesn’t take much to ensure these things are child-friendly beforehand.
As for the big wide world, you have to accept that children do pick things up. The playground is where they learn things like Santa Isn’t Real, or sometimes How Babies Are Made. There’s no stopping it, just try and remain aware of what kind of environment you’re sending your kids into and where appropriate make changes to that.
Thank you for your comments, very interesting.
I am not saying that by merely watching a sexually charged video that children are growing up too quickly, my issue is how they are influenced by that video (e.g the dance moves and the lyrics). I am not happy for them to listen to inappropriate songs, and sing along to these lyrics and I agree that it doesn’t take much to ensure things are child friendly. My point was how things have changed since I was younger where songs with such obvious sexual content were not so mainstream.
I for one, do hope to keep my children children as long as feasibly possible – to about age 8 I imagine. Obviously, they will hear things in school, just as I did and I realise I cannot control this. But the things I can control I will.
I am actually glad that the government has got involved, although, of course ultimately it is the parents responsibility to ensure a suitable environment for our children. I would never ever dispute that fact. Hence the reason, that in our house MTV and(as I seemingly cannot control the content) the radio has been banned for the time being.
Thanks for commenting.
This is a really interesting post, I enjoyed reading it. I’m not there yet as my daughter is only 22 months (although already is adamant about wearing wellies absolutely everywhere – something I never went through with my son).
I remember being kept very much a little girl until I was at least 12. I was still all in pink and definitely no diamante to be found. But I realise that things have changed and I know for me and my daughter it’s going to be a balance between my principles and her needs in terms of fitting in with the crowd, which is a sad reality these days. x
Ha ha! Actually, Frankie is going through the welly stage right now and he cannot bear the prospect of leaving the house without his pockets stuffed with cars! He is 23 months.
I too was still a little girl up until about 12 years old. I guess I want my girls to be as innocent and naive as me! Ha ha!
I am bracing myself for that tug of war where you want them to have what their friends have…..but what if that means them wanting things ( like high heels, which one girl in Eva’s class does, at 6!) that’ll almost have you packing them off to a Mormon retreat!!
Oh well, we will live and we will learn and I am sure it will be fun all the way. Ha!
Thank you for your comment.xxx
I have four girls. The eldest is 7, which is an awkward age I think. She has stopped beleiving 100% in Santa and the tooth fairy, and sings Lady Gaga songs instead. Which is better than someone like Rhianna or Shakira. I keep having to remind the dad to make sure he doesn’t leave the TV on Sky News or MTV as the stuff they put on ‘these days’ is positively shocking. I’m no prude, but I’m sure it wasn’t like that in my day. You can’t keep children children forever, and I wouldn’t want to, but the overt sexualisation of everything is appalling. I hope the government do something, and in the meantime, I will be trying to deal with it all the best I can.
My 7yo is developing a taste for black clothes, which is a step in the right direction as far as I’m concerned.
Four girls? Wow!!!
Oh, I completely agree with you. My girls love a bit of the GaGa, and I agree, her songs are nowhere near as bad as some other artists – if you can call them that! And, no it wasn’t like this back in the day. I remember Frankie goes to Hollywood and Relax, but what kid really knew what that was about?? I didn’t until I was about 19 and was listening to it! It was never as open as ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me’!
Black clothes is a good call, maybe we should introduce the Burka to them! Ha ha!
Thank you for commenting.xxx
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I have boys so don’t have the same issues – but I’m constantly fighting the guns battle and the ‘things they hear on the playground’ (at a Catholic school too!) – good luck with keeping them unsexualised until an appropriate age
Ha ha!! It is on going, isn’t it? Frankie is 2 next week and he has just started walking around with bits of lego, which I am sure he is using as a ‘gun’! Now, I don’t know where he has got that from!!
Thank you for commenting!!
xxx
Totally agree with what you say. I must admit I’m not too worried abiut my 2 son’s but I am about my daughter! Clothes and music are a big thing that are aimed at sexualising our children and I don’t agree with it. Why things aren’t sensored as much nowadays is beyond me as I think it is more important in the world we live in now than ever before.
Oh dear. That does sounds awful. Joel picks up on a lot of lyrics but nothing racy…yet although he’s still at pre-school. Actually he’s more in the habit of changing lyrics to suit his agenda e.g. “Who run the world? Joel!”
Whilst driving along I often have the radio on and sing along to whatever is playing without thinking, recently my daughter has started singing along and its only now I realise some of the language that is used in songs
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