Where do I go from here?

warning: this is a bit of a waffle….

This time 3 years ago I was, what you’d call, an entrepreneur. Or a mumpreneur.  Hehe.

In a fit of fear at expecting our third child, Rob and I decided we needed to ‘do’ something with our life, and so we took a step to put us fully in control.  We decided to set up our own baby boutique.  Yay! We threw ourselves into it, and within a fortnight we had a premises, a list of brands we’d like to stock, merchandising ideas and a shop name.  All we needed was some funding.  This was offered to us by family.

So, this was it.  We were setting up our very own business.  Together.

Due to me and Rob being a bit silly with credit cards before we had the girls, it was decided that the family would take charge of our business account – simply acting as our accountants (their words).  Doing us a favour, so we could focus on running the shop, they would take care of the books and banking etc.  Our names were on NOTHING with regards to banking accounts or the lease of the shop.  What could go wrong?  This was our family ‘helping us out’.

In June, we had the shop keys. Rob and I, with no help from anyone else, painted and decorated our shop and it was….amazing. Then our stock started arriving.  We had Oh! Baby London, Bonnie Baby, Toby Tiger, Haba Toys and loads more…. It was such an exciting time.  The girls confirmed we’d made the right stock choices as they loved EVERYTHING we had chosen.

Rob has been a retail manager and merchandiser for 10 years and he made the shop look just beautiful.  Honestly, it was amazing.  I cried.

Then, we were open.  We were an active business.  We were selling the things we had chosen and loved. To other people. For real money.

I can honestly say, as a family, we had never been happier.  I worked 3 days a week, Rob worked the other 3.  This gave me a rare break from the girls and gave Rob a rare opportunity to spend time with them.  It was the perfect balance. The shop was running like clockwork.  And baby number 3 was just two months away.

Then came the storm.  After a family disagreement, which was blown all out of proportion, the family that helped us set up pulled the rug from under our feet.  They told us we were going bankrupt.  After just 3 months!  That’s not what our figures showed – we were doing better and better each week!!!  We demanded to see the books and were refused.

Then it dawned on us that our names were on NOTHING regarding the business.  Like I mentioned, no bank accounts, no leases.  How naive of us. But it was family.  We trusted them.

We were told to leave the shop, as we were ‘only employees’  and as a parting message, we were told there’d be a stock take to make sure we didn’t steal anything!!! As the stock belonged to the ‘family’ not us!

Baby number 3, by now, was weeks away.  Rob had to go and ask for his old job back and got it – thank God.  We’ve just plodded along ever since.

The most gut wrenching thing about this, is that this shop is STILL RUNNING!!  Selling the same brands as we chose. And being run by the ‘family’ who kicked us out!!!

It still eats me up.

How do you bounce back from this?  I am still bitter.  Especially when, at the end of the year, that baby number 3 ie Frankie, will be going to school…and I have nothing. Rob hates his job, I’ve got no idea what I want to do or which direction I want to go in. And OUR shop, which we provided the sleepless nights brand researching, painting, setting up and loving (I did love it – it was my 4th baby) is still going strong, by people who ‘stole’ it from us.

Where do I go from here?  Do I just need to get over it? I suppose the answer is yes.  But I find it hard. Very hard.

Richard Nicoll Bridal Range for Topshop

If, like me, you’re a bride on a budget you have may have considered a look at the high street’s offerings of bridalwear.  Yes, some may turn their noses up, but it makes me feel a bit queasy when I think of the £1500 price tag that was delicately hanging off the dress I tried on and believed to be ‘the one’.  It just doesn’t seem right, beautiful as it was.

So, yes. I have turned to the high street.  And I have to say – it isn’t very promising.  I have admittedly only looked in Coast, Debenhams and Monsoon (that was enough for me) but I really wasn’t taken with anything I’d seen.   I don’t think I’m an overly fussy sort (honest) I’m not a ‘princess’ type bride, neither am I one for sparkle or ruffles or glitz but I do want my dress to be beautiful, elegant and just….special.  The high street dresses, to me, don’t offer this. They seem rather on the ‘plain’ side.  I find most of them just look like glorified maxi dresses.  Perfect for a beach or destination wedding, but I don’t think very fitting for a church wedding.

When I first read about Richard Nicoll doing an ‘alternative’ bridal collaboration ‘blushing brides’ with Topshop, I was quite excited. This is what he’d said:

“I proposed the idea after my Spring/Summer 2012 show. I liked the idea of making a modern affordable alternative to meringue culture…. “

It was going to be highstreet, therefore more affordable, and being Topshop I’d had images of it being stylish, flattering and a step away from the traiditional strapless ballgowns – which are not me.

Well, the collection has arrived and non-traditional (is that even a word?) the collection is.  From the high hemlines to the lack of ability to wear a bra under them – I would certainly be a ‘blushing bride’ if I were to don one of these to walk down the aisle.  The sleeveless ones look more like bridal lingerie to me – something for the wedding night.

It occurred to me that if you’ve got the figure for any of these, you’re not old enough to be getting married.  That may be bitterness talking though, given that at 28 my body has been ravaged by having 3 kids and I could NEVER get away with one!!!

So, what do you think?  Would you be choosing any of these for your big day?

The danger of ‘buy with 1 click’…..

Recently, I have become quite  very obsessed with internet shopping.  To the point where hardly a day goes by when I’m not clicking away and ordering something on-line.  Whether it’s a pair of shoes that are only available on-line , a bargain yoga dvd (?), or some second-hand books off Amazon (I impulse-bought an Eva Fraser facial exercise book for 1p yesterday – how random!), there is always something that ‘tickles my fancy’!!

That’s the problem with the ease of on-line shopping.  And boy, do these retailers know what they’re doing.  Especially Amazon. Oh, Amazon with their tempting, conniving ‘buy with 1 click’ button. The impulse-buyers nemesis.  I see something that merely interests me…and I’m buying it!  As well as the fitness dvd’s and books, I’ve ended up with arts and craft stamp sets, heart-shaped hole punchers, a CD full of ‘running songs’ – I don’t run! a stack of multicoloured tissue paper,  a karaoke dvd, an Easter outfit – for my dog! It’s quite ridiculous, and has to stop.

There are some things though that I  genuinely really want, I’ve heard the hype, I’ve read the reviews, and I still want them.  But with 3 children to clothe, feed and entertain, a car and house to maintain and a wedding to save up for, I simply can’t justify them and have to make do with alternatives…Things like these:

This is what I would LOVE…..
£283.80

This is what I use. They do have nearly the same ingredients though.
£2.50

I am longing for one of these….
£38

But I make do with this. How 90′s, eh?
£1 (from the pound shop)

And last but not least,

The famous Shu Uemura Eyelash curlers.
£20 ok, not extortionate, but can I justify them?

I think these are great for the price. W7 curlers.
£1.99

Hmmm, come to think of it, if I stopped buying crap and second-hand books (on face exercise of all things) even if they are only a penny, maybe I could afford these expensive things.  I’d love to know if any of you use, or have tried the more luxurious options and whether you thought they were actually worth the money.  What do you lust after, but make do with the cheaper options?  Also, are you randomly seduced by the ‘buy with 1 click’ button?  Or is it just me?

I’m not admitting we’re saddo’s, but……

me and the other are finding ourselves going through a bit of a Posh and Becks phase.  We’re becoming a shock! horror! co-ordinating couple!!!

But, before you panic, and call the fashion police,  I don’t mean that we are now cruising around in matching leather outfits – of course we’re not, that’d be nuts.  We’re much more *cough* subtle.

Let me explain.  It all started when we decided to have matching tattoo’s (of a swallow – a symbol of fidelity and loyalty as swallows mate for life), now that’s fine isn’t it? Normal. Loads of couples do this.  We‘ve now decided to get matching shoes.  And we wear them  on the same days – cringe. Does this make us sad?  Probably. Oh who am I kidding, it definitely makes us sad.

But, how do you decide who’s allowed to have them when we both have the same taste?   We both wanted these Superga trainers for the Summer, their stylish, veeerrry comfortable and go with loads of things (plus, they’re good enough for Alexa Chung).  So, there we have it.  We are Gemma and Rob, and we like to wear the same shoes.  They are slightly different colours though, I use that as some form of defence.

Maybe I’ll just get myself a pair of these, a collaboration between Superga and House of Holland (due for release on May 31st and set to fly off the shelves RRP £70).  There’ll be no chance of us being called copy cats then.

A quick update:  I have purchased a pair of the above shoes!  For my birthday, which is merely, eh-hem, 27 days away…. I absolutely can’t wait for them to arrive.  Eeeeeek!

I have also just had a sneak peek at the House of Holland/Superga autumn collection, and I am very excited about these, inspired by the houndstooth pattern seen over the catwalk.  I.am.in.love.