Once upon a time there was a young woman who loved nothing better than a
bit lot of retail therapy. She counted the days til her pay-day, where she could sprint into town and buy ‘noooooow shooooooes’ (that’s what her and her friends called them) and an outfit or two for that months partying and clubbing (God remember clubbing?) outings. It wasn’t all roses though – she did get herself into a reasonable amount of debt ( and she therefore did some irreparable damage to her credit report).But that didn’t matter, she was surrounded by heaving wardrobes of beautiful, wonderful CLOTHES!!!! Aaaaah. Those indeed, were the days, as you’ve probably guessed, that girl was ME!
What happened to the clothes, and indeed, that girl, I hear you ask. Well, she got……pregnant!
Yes, I got pregnant and therefore sooooo ginormous that in a cloud of hormonal rage I decided i would never, ever fit into anything but tent dresses again and donated the lot (shoes included – ridiculous I know) to charity. We will forget the fact that after a week of being forgotten about in hospital (due to the fact I was with E on the special care unit breastfeeding her all hours of day and night) and not being kept any food but a plate of lettuce – yes really! I came out of there almost back in my pre-preg clothes!!! I admit, I have never been back to that size since as six months after having E, I fell pregnant with Olivia. Close age gaps are amazing, but not for your figure…
So, since then my obsession with clothes and fashion has gone tits up (or should that be down?). Neither my wardrobe, or my sense of style has ever recovered. I don’t know if it’s because my body shape is different and the things I do like don’t suit me anymore or I just don’t have the confidence to wear them (where the hell did these hips come from, and these boobs (?) I used to be an A cup and could wear backless tops with no bra! Imagine that. I need scaffolding to hold the puppies up and out now!) Or if it’s that during my time of being pregnant, carrying the baby weight, losing
all most of the baby weight (repeat 3 times) I have gotten older, my taste has changed and I just can’t decide what I like anymore. I am always liking clothes…..but not for me. Nothings for me.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I would sort out my wardrobe, which consisted of skinny jeans – 3 pairs, a few boring tops/t-shirts and 1 pair of black ballet pumps. This is my uniform. It is so boring, so I wanted to shake it up and get a little bit smarter. On the very trusted advice of the other half (who is so well dressed, it makes me sick, and is also the manager of a mens designer store) I decided I would go for the look of rolled up trousers, a classy blouse/ floaty top and a smart, yet still casual blazer, topped off with a pair of ‘on-trend’ (see, I have the jargon of the fashionistas – ha ha!) penny loafers. Classic, smart and easy to wear, I think you’d agree. Non? (For fashions sake, I’ll throw in an obnoxious token french word. That means no for you non french speakers! ). So, when off to buy these said loafers, I went into the store knowing exactly what I wanted and wearing the outfit that I wanted them to go with. For some reason, the sales person kept trying to force me into buying a generic ballet pump. ’No, I think I’ll go for the loafer’ I stated. Yet she kept showing me ballet pumps!! ’I WANT TO TRY THE LOAFER!’ I repeated politely. To which she informed me that ‘only certain people can carry off loafers’. What??? What does that imply? That loafers are so trendy that they’re only for young people (I’m 28) with no children and I should stick to what I know – boring pumps, jeans and scruffy tops?
Humph!!! I bought them anyway and love them! I’m even thinking of upgrading my high street version to a desirable pair of Bass Weejuns (get me!) but in the back of my mind, with every step I am wondering if people are sniggering to themselves whispering ‘she can’t get away with those’? In my mind they’re just shoes, they’re not outrageous or too try-hard, it’s not as if I’m attempting to wear a mini skirt or crop top! Will I ever be the ‘certain person’ who can again wear fashionable clothes? I don’t know. But I will make a concentrated effort to get my body back to a shape where clothes look good on me and to continue on my path to regain my old passion-for-fashion and find clothes that are ‘me’. And don’t anyone suggest to me that catalogue Isme. I am certainly not that person……yet!